Flighty to Grounded

My life has been one long journey from flighty to grounded. Left unattended I have a tendency to float – a trait born of illness in my family as a child. In those days I never knew what each day might bring – so becoming uber sensitive and ‘floating above’ were fine traits for observing and preparing to react. Survival skills.

These same skills were helpful in long years of hospice work. The sensitivity would resonate with subtle changes in my patients as they were detaching from their bodies. It allowed a sort of companionship and reduced their fears. I learned it was important to intentionally ground myself when they transitioned so that I would stay put and not float away.

Eventually when I became emotionally exhausted with waves of loss in my family I found comfort in gardening which for me was “playing in the dirt” – one’s hands on the ground feeling the earth’s stability. This passion remains important to me.

My horse helps ground me also. She demands undivided attention, total “being in the moment.” If I approach her in flighty mode, anxious about something else going on and distracted, she will stomp her feet, swing around and think about kicking me. She demands I have my feet squarely on the ground so we can tune in to each other. Then we both relax.

  • In the dictionary ground, grounded, or groundedness speaks to
  • A solid, firm surface
  • A foundation or basis of belief
  • A conducting connection between an electric surface and the earth
  • To put out of action
  • To be steadfast
  • I like the notion of “energy connected to the earth” as it implies tapping into something so much bigger for strength. “To put out of action” seems to invite stillness which for me is an essential ingredient for appreciating kairos.

I expect I will forever have to reinforce groundedness because flightyness results almost instantly when I am frightened or at all anxious. For now I restrict floating to my dreams. It is there that I can fly easily and am certain that I was a bird in another life!

I Am Oma

“Blessed are the mischief makers for they shall always wear smiles”

I love being a grandma! The spontaneity and authenticity of this relationship is living spirit. Renewal of hopes and dreams. Children live in kairos…the opportune moment. We should bow to such honesty!

The Dancer

There was once a story about a young dancer, wise in the ways of art and delightfully innocent. This dancer would listen closely to the music of the wind and call for the moment’s attention.

Movement was so distinctive that the trees would laugh with the gracefulness of her offer.

There was a decision to make and it became its own adventure.

The dancer had become mesmerized with the edges of the sounds. To fly off the edge would be an act of exultation – with privacy and glory. To stay invited roots and sharing.

The bear watched and ate huckleberries.

Everything is Already OK

“I’ve learned to trust what I call “the Braille method” of living – relinquishing grand plans and schemes in favor of an intuitive approach, feeling my way from tree to tree; letting go of my attempts to control the world, and learning, instead, to trust a discerning surrender….

I’m learning to live inside the view that everything is really already okay. I may not understand it. But I know that it’s so. And this allows me to relax my grip on life. With age, I’m even learning to relax my grip on trying. This is because I see more and more irrevocably that what I am hunting is also hunting me.” (Source Unknown)   

January 2019

I love a new year… the fresh start, clean slate feel. I am resolved to savor New Mexico and strengthen my confidence in independent southwest living in this year of 2019.

I am finding that living small is quite satisfying and creates a nice balance for the Cancer sign in me that likes to nest and for the sense of adventure I am always seeking. My horse, Pearl, and the ever-present Border Terrier, Kiwi, seem to be thriving as well. I am sad the cat, Lily, never survived the casita chapter for I think she would have been a contented queen of the tiny house community.

Yesterday’s 65 degree weather and delightful desert trail ride is replaced today by high gusts of blowing sand with a bone chilling effect. New Mexico has proven to have just as dramatic weather changes as Colorado….only it seems more stark here. It is the rawness of this country that holds such an attraction for me.