There is a saying that a “no” uttered from the depth of one’s being is more powerful than many a “yes” intended to comply.
Imagine doubting your mind, your will, your body and somehow finding the focus and internal strength to name an unacceptable incongruency for yourself. The importance of righting this becomes a claiming of worth as it is assertively voiced.
This is a “no” that must be respected.
For me this can be a critical part of resilience. The edge of adamant refusal is sharp and defining. It is a spirit of resolve and an expression of phoenix vitality.
When I have felt demolished I see myself scattered in pieces over a large field. Something deep in my spirit sounds a protest. The image itself sparks a hope for a gathering of pieces and creation of new form. The hope frequently emerges well before the energy to take action. My friend George gave me a small basket when I described this image. It is a symbol for carefully and slowly acknowledging the gathering process. George taught me the importance of discerning what is lost forever and demands a time of sorrow and what is to be retrieved and reclaimed as part of a next chapter.
George, a pastor, was a quiet soul who could focus his spirit into very clear and forceful expressions of “no” when he had lost most function. He held all around him accountable even as he was dependent and drawing his last breaths.